Psychoeducation
CLIMBING AND GRIEF
Grief is a normal human experience, and an inherent part of being alive. However, traumatic events and associated losses related to climbing have a unique impact on both our community and the people within it.
Many of us have built our identity and our relationships around climbing. There are multiple levels of impact on a person when the sport we love results in major losses or irrevocable changes to our lives. All levels of our lives have been touched by climbing, and so all levels of our lives may be touched by climbing-related trauma and losses.
From our relationship with nature to our identity as a climber or climbing partner, or as someone who loves a climber, climbing-related losses can have a profound and varied impact on our lives. We may find that we experience changes in our outlook on life or our ideas about the function of the sport in our life. A sport that was once a guiding principle for our lives can feel like a prison, an escape, or a vehicle for healing. We may try to avoid feelings associated with traumatic events or losses through substance use or staying busy. We may seek the help of friends, or choose to isolate. We may seek professional help, or examine resources available online. Some of us may choose not to deal with the loss, and may find that these losses can stack up over time.
There is no singular right way to go through the processes of grief or healing. What is important is that you find a way that works for you, and presents the best fit to help you get back on your feet in a healthy and balanced way.
WHAT IS GRIEF?
Grief is a healthy and natural response to losing someone or something that you loved. There is nothing wrong with you and there is nothing to be fixed. Grief is not a disease rather it is a state of dis-ease. Grief is also more than loss related to death. It can be loss of your abilities, your health, relationships, your identity, etc. We never get over big loss, rather we heal and come to a place of integration and understanding.
Grief is the internal expression of loss. It is your thoughts and feelings that you have after losing what is most precious to you. When we express these thoughts and feelings outward our grief becomes mourning. Often what grief needs most is this healthy outward expression in order to heal or simply move forward. Ideally this means we need to be seen, heard, and witnessed in our grief.
There is a common myth that grief happens in stages. There are no stages but rather many phases of emotions. These emotions can be felt all at once or repeated as we move forward in our grief. There is no expected timeline to grief and no exact trajectory; grief is as unique as you are.
Grief is like being dropped into the middle of the wilderness without a map, without provisions, and no compass. Your life may feel like it has been completely turned upside down. What may help most is to have someone who has found their way through this wilderness already, someone who will companion you along the way.
“Grief is reaching out for someone or something that has been there for you, only to discover they are missing and will never return.” - Unknown Author
WHAT IS TRAUMA?
Trauma happens any time there is a threatening and/or stressful situation that overwhelms your ability to cope or manage. When we have an experience where we can’t find a way out, when we can’t get away from the threat or save ourselves, our bodies experience traumatic overwhelm. When something traumatic happens related to climbing the sport itself can become an unsafe place. The traumatic event might be an accident, a death, or even a near miss. Anything that reminds you of that situation, person, or climbing can bring back the feeling of powerlessness - that there is no solution and no way out. The stress then can begin to permeate your life and cause problems. It’s important to know what the signs and symptoms of stress are in your own life so you’ll know when to make changes and ask for help - or be a better friend to someone who is hurting.
Each person will perceive trauma differently. When our brains and bodies are faced with a threat that is inescapable, they start to behave as if we are going to die. We may rage or have panic attacks. We also “check out,” get foggy or lethargic. Here’s a non-climbing example to demonstrate. If a toddler was left in a hot car, the experience could be quite traumatic. That toddler doesn’t have the finger dexterity or strength to get themselves out of their car seat and out of the car. That toddler will experience traumatic overwhelm because they aren’t able to save themselves from the threat of heat stroke. An adult, however, will just open the door and leave, or turn on the AC. The situation isn’t traumatic for them at all. A fall while climbing could produce traumatic overwhelm for one person, while for another it will be fun. Someone might be impacted by a trauma first-hand, being a witness, or hearing about it second hand. We don’t know enough about human psychology and neurobiology to be able to predict who will experience traumatic overwhelm, but we do know that our response is a combination of our physiology, our cognition and our past experiences.
It can be helpful to understand the role our nervous system plays in service of our own safety and ability to connect with ourselves and others. Often, when faced with the effects of a stressful or life threatening event, we can become frustrated or upset when our body and mind are reacting in ways that feel uncomfortable or we don’t understand which can lead to further disconnection from ourselves and those around us. Becoming aware of, understanding, and then befriending our nervous system can put us back in the driver's seat and help us navigate the pathway to recovery. When we know that our body is attempting to protect us, when can begin to let go of the judgement and develop compassion for that part of ourselves that is attempting to protect us while engaging in self-care and recovery strategies.
It is normal to feel overwhelmed after something traumatic occurs. There is no “right way” to respond. Everyone has natural coping abilities and many people are able to use their coping abilities to feel better with time. When our brains and bodies can’t get back to a place of feeling safe, the trauma (stress-response) sticks around. Traumatic events can leave people unsure of what to do or how to help themselves or others.
Examples of what people experience with trauma:
Re-Experiencing: It is not uncommon for people to replay an event over-and-over in their head. They experience bothersome memories or even feel like the traumatic event is happening again. These can be flashbacks, nightmares, or even physical reactions. Trauma memories are often very vivid.
Increased arousal: You might feel on high alert, amped up, or with a lot of anxious energy. Your brain can get stuck in the “stress mode,” leading to feeling jittery, jumpy, nauseous as well as things like sleep issues and/or fatigued.
Avoidance: Our brains are programed to get us to avoid things that might be dangerous. After a traumatic event, many people find themselves avoiding any reminder of what happened, such as people, places, situations, and even thoughts or feelings. While avoidance is natural, too much avoidance can disrupt the natural psychological healing process.
Changes in beliefs and thoughts: Traumatic events can change how we view ourselves, other people, and the world around us. Some things that change might be in areas such as blame, safety, trust in self or others, or worries of losing control. These changes in beliefs can impact our lives in many ways. Sometimes a part of trauma recovery is examining how beliefs might have changed and working to find a fuller understanding of what has happened. That takes time and people often benefit from support in the process.
Strong feelings: Trauma can bring up anxiety, but also emotions such as irritability, guilt, shame, grief, depression or even numbness. These changes are common, but they can impact on other parts of our lives can be minimized with the practice of good self-care.
TRAUMA SELF-CARE AND RECOVERY STRATEGIES
We all cope or manage stress in different ways. How you deal with something stressful or traumatic may be different from someone else. Different situations can also call for different strategies. Review the section on the Stress Continuum to learn more about the spectrum of experiences. Here is a list of a few coping strategies to consider:
Use your natural healthy coping skills. Think about what you do normally to manage stress and make sure you keep doing those things - socialization, exercise, spiritual/faith practices, relaxation time, etc.
Reach out to others if you think talking to someone might help. It is OK to have alone time; however, take care to minimize prolonged isolation from others.
Learn about trauma reactions and ways to recover.
Engage in movement therapy (like yoga, tai chi, etc.) and physical exercise.
Eat and drink healthy and avoid unnecessary toxins like excessive alcohol and/or drugs.
Try to get good rest and talk with a healthcare provider about temporary solutions to help with sleep such as healthy sleep habits and/or the use of supplements, over-the-counter or medications.
Be a good friend to yourself. Understand that traumatic events can be overwhelming. Healing and recovery takes time. Try to limit negative judgments about yourself or others about how you or they “should” or “should not” be.
Connect with a mental health provider for additional support, guidance, and treatment. Every trauma is different for every person. Consider asking for help if you:
need a safe space to talk but don’t have one.
have nightmares or changes in sleeping patterns.
feel helpless or hopeless.
are experiencing anxiety or depression or “feeling numb.”
are drinking or using mood altering substances more than usual.
have thoughts of self harm or suicide.
THE STRESS CONTINUUM AND STRESS INJURIES
The stress continuum shows us two things: that there is a spectrum of experiences, and that it is possible to recover. Graphic coming soon.
“Resting” (green): Green means go! This is what you are like at your best. The world is full of opportunities. You are more creative, adventurous and energized. There is time for yoga and friends, and you are more willing to try new things. It’s important to know what you are like when in the “green zone” so you will know when you've left it behind for too long.
“Responding” (yellow): Stress is introduced when a threat is present. This could be a close call or near miss, or a full blown event. Your focus narrows and your body floods with hormones designed to help you perform at your best. Appetite decreases, interests narrow, and your time is dedicated to dealing with the issue at hand. This state is useful in the short term, however many people have a hard time returning to “green” once an event is over. One way to help move yourself back to rest is to officially recognize that the stressful event is actually over. You can do this by talking with friends, journaling or simply telling yourself “it’s done, I can relax now.”
“Injured” (orange): Stress injuries occur after spending a prolonged amount of time in the “responding “phase. If we do not tend to our bodies physical response to stress over time these responses can become calcified. In the injured stage our lives start shrinking. Climbing is no longer something that we look forward to as a method of stress relief. We question if we even like it any more. Our sense of humor tends to take a turn towards the dark. When we have the energy to hang out with groups of our climbing friends, the stories we tell are full of criticism and complaining. In this stage we don’t have time for new things. Our perspective remains narrow and we lose interest in activities we once loved.
“Ill” (red): In this phase we see more of the physical manifestations of stress: weight gain around the midsection, health changes, sleep changes - all persisting much longer than we’d expect them to in our formerly active lives. We may have flashbacks or nightmares related to an incident that happened a long time ago. Major bouts of depression are common, as is difficulty in creating and sustaining lasting relationships. At this stage professional help and medical treatment may be necessary for recovery.
It is important to note that recovery is possible no matter where you are on the spectrum. Becoming more aware of what you are like in each zone will help you reach out and ask for help when you need it. It’s also important to note that a shift from one stage to another can be caused by one major incident of trauma or loss, or it may happen after many years of small stressful events. The key to prevention and recovery in any phase is making deliberate choices that bring you back into the green zone, and asking for help. Together we are building a climbing culture of community and support. There is a community for you.
For further education on Stress Injuries and Trauma-Focused RESOURCES, PlEASE visit The Responder Alliance website.
ADDITIONAL EDUCATION
Special thanks to Laura McGladrey for doing these filmed interviews with Henna Taylor for our psychoeducation. McGladrey is a nurse practitioner and NOLS instructor who specializes in traumatic stress and resilience in Fire, Law Enforcement, EMS, ski patrol, avalanche and search and rescue.
Further thanks to the following people for their content contributions to this page: Aleya Littleton, Samuel Johnson, Beth Erlander, Trevor Davis, Henna Taylor and Madaleine Sorkin.